The old ways becoming new again

I just got married to a masculine man last month, at age 44, my first marriage. Before that, I was a single mom for 17 years, and a strong leader. I ran my own business, was a community leader almost running for city council, and played both mother and father to my 2 boys, doing it […]

“Just be yourself”

One of the oft-used phrases in this reality is to “just be yourself.” As a youth and even young adult seeking my “purpose” in life, I remember always feeling perplexed by this advice because how do I know who I am and how to be myself? It seemed like an impossibility, given the multitudes of […]

Men’s Brains make 52% More Serotonin than Women’s

Did you know that men’s brains synthesize 52% more serotonin than women’s? Serotonin is a chemical that nerve cells produce (a neurotransmitter which also acts as a hormone) which influences mood, sexual behavior, hunger, addiction, and much more. The implications of this are huge and explain so much! This means that women need to work […]

Do women really need protection from men?

We have been hurt so badly by men in the past, or by their behaviors. So we start to close ourselves off. Actually we start out our lives learning to close ourselves off and protect that softness inside. Parents may not show up for us, they didn’t know and had their own pain. Then in […]

Is being feminine “self-abandoning 50s housewife?”

I got a great question in a group I’m in: “Clare Alohi I’m curious how you interpret being in your feminine vs masculine. Many times I’ve seen this as being very submissive, not sharing your feelings, letting the man have control, and basically being a self-abandoning 50s housewife. However, I’d totally love to see it […]