The old ways becoming new again

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I just got married to a masculine man last month, at age 44, my first marriage. Before that, I was a single mom for 17 years, and a strong leader. I ran my own business, was a community leader almost running for city council, and played both mother and father to my 2 boys, doing it all. Yes, I could do it all. All the men I dated never seemed to want to take the next steps with me. Why? Well I was so independent there wasn’t a place for them in my life, but also the fact that my masculine energy attracted feminine men. At 40 I decided to stop looking and settled into an acceptance of genderlessness. I figured I could embrace spinsterhood. But then Covid happened. I looked around at what was happening and wondered where all the masculine men were. I looked at my own inability to fight against tyranny. I realized society had been slowly emasculating men, and masculinizing women. And that it was harming us, removing us from our true nature. I started learning about law of polarity and that this is a dualistic world. When we are in our core essence, we feel most alive. I had been carrying a heavy masculine shield, doing what I was told to do, being strong and providing it all for my kids. But it was hard. I had a constant undercurrent of fear, wishing I didn’t have to do it alone. I started exploring my feminine essence. I read a book call Your Natural Forces and How to Use Them, by Prentice Mulford. A chapter within talked about the true meaning and value of women. Women are not designed to be men, to do all the providing, protecting, and leading, because we are the softer, more spiritually attuned sex. Women did not build this civilized world, men did. But it was women that inspired them. Men are by nature stronger, more physical, logical, and able to be decisive and lead more easily than women. But women are able to be the bridge to the spirit realm, to be present, to feel and be heart-led, to dance and play. We are his muse and why he fights and achieves. We are each at our core designed to complement each other perfectly, even biologically. He penetrates, she receives.

While all this learning was happening for me a man moved in next door. He was masculine. He was very different from the men I had dated. He actually made me uncomfortable, with how dominant and powerful he felt. I was still carrying the masculine shield. I had a protective barrier up. But slowly over time, I healed and forgave men, which was a very necessary part of getting to this place. 

And it’s a place of freedom. I am now with a man who is protective, providing, fiercely loyal, honorable, and so loving. I’m a completely changed person because I am able to feel what it’s like to be who I am at my core, a feminine essence woman. And unite in a fiery passionate sacred union with a man who would do anything for me. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt. And I’m learning every day how to step more into this feminine essence after a lifetime of carrying that shield and operating from my head. I’m learning to follow my heart, and my man’s leadership. And he is fulfilled with my feminine energy. It’s symbiotic. Neither are more valuable. We need each other and to remember who we are at our core, that we are designed very differently to fit together perfectly, as a force of nature. He leads, I follow. But I am freely doing so, and he has agreed to lead us with love and service. This return to our core essences is the way to expand into our highest potentials as human. It has the power to heal the world, when we know ourselves and what it means to be feminine or masculine. It is the old way, but it’s also new. It’s a return to a natural order but with a higher consciousness of who we really are.

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